Dear Isaiah

My dearest Isaiah,
I can't believe we're here. As I type this on my phone, you are laying next to me in bed at the Ronald McDonald House. I'm hearing the rhythm of your breathing and am overcome: tonight is the night before your fourth surgery- your first rodding surgery.

I remember seeing your bowed tibias (lower legs) on ultrasound. I remember the doctors saying they were curved into acute angles. I remember holding my breath at that fact. But tomorrow? Tomorrow your orthopedic surgeon is going to straighten them. He's going to place rods in them to stabilize the bones.

I've only ever wanted this for you since I learned of it...until the doctor recently gave his go ahead that he felt ready...then my mama nerves kicked in and I've questioned making this decision for you. I hope you understand we're doing what we feel is the best thing for your quality of life.

I love you so incredibly much.

 Today we had a few appointments before your big surgery, had time to kill between them, and bumped into one of the NICU doctors who took such wonderful care of you at the beginning of your life. He looked so very proud of you, of how far you've come. He was even beaming through your temper tantrum...(lord help me. 3 is so very hard.)...it was so perfect that we bumped into him as he reminded me of the beginning of your journey...it's like we blinked and here we are: You defiantly trying to go go go, independently in your wheelchair, and as frustrating as it was, it is such a gift. It was such a gift to have to chase after you through the halls of the hospital today. And omg did I have to chase you today...

Isaiah, I remember your beginning, constantly questioning, constantly worrying and holding our breaths, wondering if we were making the right decisions....and here I am again with my doubts and concerns. But you've got this. Your doctor has got this.

You are going to rock this.

I believe in you, Isaiah. And love you forever and always.

Love,
Mama <3

To my poor neglected readers...I'll do my best to update. I'm having trouble adding pictures to the post. Boo. But check us out over on Facebook and /or Instagram for updates and pics! <3